I Met My Husband On Craigslist

I met my husband at church…I mean  on the internet.  Even shadier, we met on Craigslist.  It wasn’t a seedy casual encounters type meet-up.  I had placed an ad on “Women Seeking Men”  My friends had been bugging me to try internet dating for a long time.  Turns out working long hours in educational theatre is not a great way to meet a straight man…or make money…or maintain sanity. It was New Year’s Day and I decided to place an ad, something witty with no picture.  My friends assured me that I wouldn’t get any responses without a photo.  I wasn’t trying to prove them wrong, it was sort of the opposite.  If I didn’t get any responses I could throw up my arms and fall back on my usual “Hey I tried.  There are no single men out there” 

I posted my ad. My expectations were low.  I don’t remember the exact wording but it may have included phrases such as “I think camping is like choosing to be homeless” and “I am not a fan of clubbing, unless it involves baby seals”  Of course I was joking…well about the baby seals part.  I still hate camping.  I blame that on being raised by outdoorsy lesbians. I also hate Home Depot and cinder block furniture.  But those are issues for my next therapy session…er..blog post. By the next morning my ad (sans photo) had garnered over 200 replies.  Sure, many of them were spam, dick pics and those who I had angered with my baby seals comment. Let me reiterate, I am not in favor of clubbing baby seals.  I am in favor of weeding out guys with no sense of humor and/or those that are easily offended.  We would not be a match.  I received some bizarre notes that probably came from Prison or the Western State hospital, but hey.  Craigslist is free and none of your student’s parents are going to find you by skimming the profiles on Match.com.

I met a lot of men.  I met great guys.  I also met flakes and liars and had a brief relationship with a very charming man that neglected to mention his WIFE.  I met computer guys, salesmen, a scientist, a dryer repairman, a couple writers, a couple bartenders, an electrician, and architect.  Like I said…I met a lot of men.  I was often invited back to homes to watch “The Notebook” I’m not kidding. I guess I should be honored that they were willing to sit through “The Notebook” for the shot at maybe getting some action.  They were clearly dating the wrong woman. 

Mark was a computer guy.  He seemed nice enough.  His picture was not a mugshot, No girls were cropped out of it and he had a nice smile.  He had mentioned his love of musical theatre so I figured he was either gay or trying to get laid. On our first meeting he discussed Dungeons and Dragons so I quickly determined he was straight and most likely not trying to get laid. He told me about his son (So despite his interest in role playing games, he actually did have experience with the opposite sex)He told me of his immense love for  The Little Mermaid and all but offered to be my date for opening night of my junior high production of Bye Bye Birdie. Who was this guy? Obviously he was too good to be true so after three lovely dates, I dumped him.

It was tacky.  I did it in an email.  I was seeing someone else and it was getting moderately serious and I wasn’t comfortable with this whole casual dating thing.  I met all of these men right around the same time, due to the ad and I wasn’t quite sure how to navigate the waters.  Mark was super nice, which almost made it worse.  He understood and said he really liked me and wished me well. Long story short, I found out the other guy was married.  My heart was broken, I had screwed things up with Mark and that was it.  I was giving up.  I would grow old,  surrounded by cats, drinking Sanka and watching Matlock.

Fast forward a couple of months. My building didn’t allow cats, I lacked cable, and I don’t think they even sell Sanka anymore,  I decided to try Match.com.  I filled out my profile, paid my money and officially joined.  Seconds later Mark pops up as a 100% match.  What the?! Well who am I to argue with the extremely scientific findings of a paid dating site.  It was practically God speaking, right? I swallowed my pride, ate some crow and whatever other cliché seemed to fit and I emailed him.  He was incredibly kind about everything.  We went to see an Opera. He was my opening night date for Bye Bye Birdie and after a couple more dates he invited me back to his house to watch Dr. Stranglelove.

I have never seen the Notebook.