I am an Awkward Mom

I always wonder if other moms feel as awkward as I do in every social situation I am tossed into.  It's not that I am antisocial in the real world, (well maybe a little).

I am an awkward mom.

It may have started out by being a step mom.  As a stepmother you are always feeling out your place, not only at home but in the world of parent/teacher conferences, Pee Wee football games, birthday parties and other events where you are constantly reminded that your husband has not only had sex before you, but shared a life with another woman that you will be forever tied to for the rest of your life. How's that for a neurotic run on sentence?

When my daughter was born I thought I would be less awkward.  I wasn't.  I've run screaming from every mommy group I have ever attended, and by run, I mean walk and by screaming, I mean quietly weeping on the inside.
I hate the name "Mommy Group"
I also hate "Froyo" and "Xfinity"
but this is not what this post is about.
Wait.  I also hate BOGO and Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

I don't know the other parents at my daughter's preschool school very well, so every time I strike up a conversation I feel like I'm the new kid in 4th grade, wearing head gear. I want them to like me.  I want them to think I'm cool. Wait. No I don't.  Dear God please don't invite me to anything. ...
Today I am obsessing over the Birthday Party Evite.  I didn't score an Evite because of my cunning wit and my magnetic personality.  I am just on the Preschool's email list and parents are encouraged to invite everyone in the class to their 4 year old's birthday bash.

Why I don't want to go
1.  We would have to go and be social

2.  What am I going to wear? I don't fit in with the Gore-Tex crowd or the opposing Lululemon gang.

3.  Clara is going to realize that other 4 year olds have kid parties instead of the themed cocktail parties we   throw to celebrate her day of birth.

4.  One camp is the stay at home mom camp.  One is the corporate mom camp.  I am in my own hybrid "work sometimes" camp and I will have to explain.

5. When I tell people I work evenings and weekends it makes me sound like an exotic dancer. The truth is more glamourous.  I get paid to perform while wearing a pig costume. While this should be a great conversation starter with preschool moms and an opportunity to market my work as a childrens theatre performer, I become all insecure and tongue tied in the presence of  UGGs

Why I should go

1. I love my daughter and it's important for her to do social things and celebrate her school friend's birthdays.

2. I should be more social.  I am sure there are very nice, normal parents out there that like cocktails and mocking the more fortunate.

3. Proof that Clara actually has parents and didn't just hatch from an egg like Jonathan Winters in "Mork and Mindy". (Pretty sure all of the moms at Clara's school are too young to remember Mork and Mindy)

Why I will go
1. Cake.